


Am I seeing double? Wait, am I seeing YOUR double?

by dragonism



Series: Kurlish Week [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brace yourselves, F/M, Other, This one is a strange one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 06:57:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonism/pseuds/dragonism
Summary: Kurlish Week - Day Two!Prompt: AUs.Bart and Ken find themselves in a strange place, where everything- including themselves- seems different.





	Am I seeing double? Wait, am I seeing YOUR double?

“Bart. Where are you?” Ken shouted into the dark, fumbling for a moment and using what he at least thought was a wall to help him stand. “Bart?”

“I can’t see nothing in here.” She groaned, Ken couldn’t see her but he knew she was close, reaching out a hand, he felt the warmth of Bart’s shoulder- and was consequently met with her grabbing his arm and twisting.

“Ow! OW! Bart! It’s me. It’s Ken.”

“Huh?” Bart blinked, gently letting go of Ken’s arm and patting it a little hopelessly as if that would do much, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine- just, is there a light in here?” Reaching out again, this time his hand found the wall again, drawing across it for a moment until he came across a switch. Something in him said that flicking random switches was probably a terrible idea, however something in him also couldn’t find the means to say this would be anything more than a light switch. So as he pushed it, he was relieved to find his latter feeling had been right.

Bright light streamed into the room and Ken was finally able to see Bart.

Though, last he checked- Bart had been behind him. And definitely not stood in a doorway.

“Ken?” Doorway Bart spoke tentatively, and with a surprisingly thick British accent.

“Wh- What? You were-“ He turned, finding himself face to face with- yep, you guessed- Bart. “You _are_ right there!”

Stumbling a few steps back, Ken created a gap between the two Barts, glancing between them and making wild motions with his hands, “How is this possible.”

The pair of Barts seemed to ignore him by this point, taking a few steps forward each and tilting their heads, “You’re me.” Doorway Bart spoke.

“And you’re me.” Ken’s Bart returned.

“No no, you’re not me. Or you are me. But you’re certainly a different me.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what?”

“All funny- like that Dirk guy.”

“Not at all, _you’re_ the one talking like that bloody lunatic.” Doorway Bart looked offended, retorting her statement back.

“Hold up.” Ken interrupted the pair’s conversation, “You mean you’re both.. Bart Curlish?”

“Yes.” The pair said in unison.

They then looked at each other, “No. I’m Bart.”

“Slow down for two seconds!” The man spoke in an exasperated tone, shaking his head and placing his hand out in front of him, “You’re both Bart. But you’re not like my Bart. So... where are we exactly?”

“Good question Strange Ken!” Doorway Bart chirped, smiling widely at him despite his wince at being referred to as ‘Strange’ Ken. “It seems you two are alternate versions of myself and Ken. Oh! Maybe you’re clones! Or aliens! _Are you aliens?”_

“I’m pretty sure an alien wouldn’t tell you if they were an alien.” A voice interrupted, walking through the door that Other Bart once stood in. To Ken’s surprise- it was him. Or well not him, but clone him. Or alternate him. He didn’t know and he didn’t think he wanted to know. “Maybe they’re alternate universe versions of us. That kinda seems more plausible considering that last case.”

“Ah! Of course. Alternate Universes. Why didn’t I think of that? Excellent assisting Ken.”

Wow. This Bart really did sound like Dirk.

“Look. We just wanna get home. That’s all we were trying to do.” Ken spoke desperately, walking over to his Bart as she scowled suspiciously at... herself.

“Yeah! We aint here to argue with weirdos.”

“I think you’re forgetting that we are you. Just a different you. I’m a Holistic Detective and this is my friend and assistant Ken.” Other Bart spoke clearly and rather quipped as she rocked on her heels and gestured to her Ken.

“Yeah? Well I aint no detective, I’m a Holistic Assassin and this is my friend Ken.” Bart spoke with a slight seething impatience to her tone, grabbing rather forcefully at Ken’s arm and pulling him a little closer to her.

“Well then, there is at least one similarity between us.” At that point Other Ken leaned down and pressed a kiss to Other Bart’s cheek, much to the surprise of our Ken- and to the curiosity and scrunched expression of our Bart.

“You gonna sort this?” Other Ken spoke, a soft expression gracing his lips as he smiled.

“I’m going to try.” Other Bart smiled back, seemingly warmed by the affection- which made our Bart make a small gagging noise in the background, “You go make us some tea.”

Other Ken nodded, before smiling at his double, and giving a curt nod to him too. Ken himself was baffled- were Other Bart and himself... dating? He shook his head and turned his attention back to the woman in-front of him, whom he only now realised wore rather immaculate clothes, aside from a few splashes of mud on her red jacket. “So, if this really is an alternate universe... how do we get back to our universe?”

“You use another of Spring’s machines of course!” Other Bart seemed to gain a burst of excitement, striding over to a cupboard and pulling out a rather rickety looking machine. “Ken and I came across this on our last case. Another of Spring’s failed experiments it seems. Except this one doesn’t switch souls, or time travel. It timeline travels. Or basically allows you to visit other realities.”

“Woah.” Was all Ken could manage as he watched Other Bart turn knobs and twist screws that caused a purple light to flicker on within the machine.

“Woah indeed. Ken and I have yet to use it but considering you’re here I would think it’s safe to say you’ve already found your timelines version of the machine. So you should get home safe and well.”

“That aint very... uh whats that word.” Bart paused, tapping Ken’s arm a little.

“Reassuring?”

“Yeah! Yeah. That.”

“Trust me, you’ll be fine.” Other Bart nodded decisively. “Just sit tight and hold those rods.”

The pair from our universe looked at each other and back to the machine, before hesitantly sitting down on either side of the rusty contraption and placing their hands around the rods that stuck up on each of it’s corners.

“Goodbye, Strange me, Strange Ken. Maybe one day we’ll cross paths once more.”

And with that, Other Bart pulled a lever, and the purple light grew more intense around the pair, sending sparks up each of their arms and flinging them both away from the machine.

However, when Ken looked up, they were no longer in the strange room of other them’s apparent home, but back in the abandoned factory they’d come across. He let out a sigh of relief, looking over to where Bart brushed herself off and was beginning to stand, “That was weird, right?”

“I dunno, kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“Yeah I mean, I kinda knew there was other versions of us out there, what with the universe and all,” She shrugged, pulling a face as though it meant no difference to her, “Just didn’t expect they would be doing all that weird dating stuff, y’know?”

“You mean you wouldn’t date me?” Ken bumped Bart’s arm with his shoulder as they walked towards the exit of the building, chuckling a little.

“Hey! That’s not what I said.”

“I know.” He spoke, and thought a little more gently. _I know._


End file.
